


The Devil You Know

by Dazeventura6



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mostly Canon Compliant, Sorta Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 10:49:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 17,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12839586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dazeventura6/pseuds/Dazeventura6
Summary: Spencer Reid thought that the two days he spent at the mercy of Tobias Hankel were hell, little did he know the worst was yet to come....and the best.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GhostInTheBAU](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostInTheBAU/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Devil You Know [Banner Art]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12728688) by [GhostInTheBAU](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostInTheBAU/pseuds/GhostInTheBAU). 



> Mountains of thanks to GhostInTheBAU my lovely beta and artist whose work inspired this little fic. Couldn't have gotten here without you. Thanks for keeping me coherent.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/153129892@N05/38091661062/in/dateposted-public/)

There was a voice cursing him. He was almost sure that he didn't know the voice and yet there was something familiar about it. How was he even hearing a voice, when he was pretty sure he was dead? Spencer didn’t know.

“Dammit. You are not gonna die on me now. I’m not gonna let you, boy. I have uses for you, and your idiot brothers are not even around to make deals and save you…” the voice sighed, grumbling, “Looks like it’s up to me then. I _so_ hate getting my hands dirty, so to speak.”

            Spencer didn’t understand most of what the voice was saying. He supposed, if he was having a near-death hallucination, it didn’t have to make sense. The more he heard the voice, however, the more familiar it seemed. Like he had been hearing it faintly all his life and it was just now coming clear in his mind.

Spencer was puzzled by the voice, but the light and warmth that seemed to be reaching out to welcome him pushed all his worries away and he felt himself floating towards it. Suddenly, though, he was yanked back into a world of pain, bright light and horrible smells. His back felt like one big bruise and his throat felt like he had blades in it, even as he coughed and choked his way back to consciousness. His wrists were raw and bleeding from where they were bound together in front of him by the cuffs, and his feet hurt from being beaten and branded.

As he became more aware of his surroundings, the voice faded and left him staring at the confused face of Tobias Hankel. He wasn’t sure if he was happy to be back. The light he had been floating towards had been so welcoming and warm and _good_ , and this reality was just so painful.

Still, now that he _was_ back, he felt the overwhelming need to survive, to _get away_. Consciousness brought with it the memory of who he was and exactly why he was in this position. Spencer knew he had to get away from Hankel somehow. He had to find a way to give his team a clue as to where he was so they could save him from this poor, deluded soul. He wracked his brains for _something_ that they wouldn’t miss.

There was only one person on the team he trusted to understand his clue and find him. He loved his team, but only Hotch truly saw him for who he was and accepted him. Spying the grave markers through the boards in the shack, he took a deep breath, ignoring the pain in his chest the action caused, and waited for an opportunity to use this information.

He knew his time was running out when Raphael forced him to play Russian roulette with his team watching through the camera. He used the opportunity the best way he could. Betting on the fact that Rafael wouldn’t know the bible, as well as Charles and Tobias, did; or, if he did, that he would assume that Spencer had made a mistake in his terror, Spencer blurted out his clue.

When Rafael told him to pick one to die, he chose Aaron Hotchner.

He had always chosen Hotch. There was nobody he trusted more; after all, he had trusted his unit chief with his heart ages ago even if the man didn’t actually know it. Being dragged out to dig his own grave wasn’t exactly part of the plan, and he scrambled to find an opportunity to save himself even as he felt his time running out. Luckily, Hankel was distracted by lights and sounds in the distance, and while he was distracted, Spencer grabbed the gun from the ground and took his shot.

Having Hotch lift him out of the grave and hug him felt like coming home, and in that moment he didn’t want to let go. Hotch didn’t seem to be in a hurry to let him go either, so he stayed in those warm comforting arms until he saw JJ coming towards them, relief and guilt in her eyes. Reluctantly, he pulled away from the older man to reassure JJ and the rest of the team.

Spencer was surprised that he seemed to have no craving for the drugs that Hankel had been injecting him with, but he was in too much pain and too tired to really worry about it. As soon as the scene was cleared the paramedics swarmed him, attending to his wounds. Spencer protested the entire time, trying to assure them that he was fine and really didn’t need a hospital; but Hotch insisted that he go and get checked out anyway. JJ went with him, as the unit chief could read the woman’s guilt on her face and he knew that this might make her feel better.

Spencer had wanted Hotch to be with him, but he didn’t complain.

The rest of the team stayed behind to clear up the scene and close the case. It had been a nightmarish few days and they were all so pleased to have the case over with their teammate back safe.

At the hospital, Spencer was treated for the burns and bruises on his feet and wrists. Luckily, nothing had been broken. They kept him overnight just to make sure he was alright and make sure the drugs he’d been given by Hankel had left his system. The doctors couldn’t understand how every bit of the drugs seemed to be out of his system by the time he’d arrived at the hospital, and it didn’t really make any sense to Spencer either.

After he’d been admitted to a room and JJ had left him to rest, he started to doze off. Soon, though, he heard a faint whisper of a voice--a voice he could swear he had heard before...when he was dying. He startled awake at the sound, looking around frantically, wondering if somehow Hankel had come back from the dead, only to find himself alone in the room. His heart rate slowly calmed as he convinced himself that he was just dreaming; then settled himself back in bed half afraid of what sleep would bring him.


	2. Chapter 2

Hotch worked twice as hard as anyone else on the team to get the case wrapped up. Everyone assumed it was just residual guilt at having sent Spencer and JJ to interview Hankel. Nobody realized that the unit chief was doing everything in his power not to break down at how close he had come to losing the man he loved. Not being able to be there for Spencer as anything other than a friend and a boss was also taking its toll on Hotch’s composure.

He was married, and as much as he had come to feel for Spencer over the past couple of years, he couldn’t just walk out on his wife. That had been his excuse, the thing he’d been telling himself over the last few months as he seemed to grow closer to the young genius and further away from Haley.

Hotch knew that Haley could tell he was pulling away from her and had been ever since he’d first met Reid and subsequently fallen head over heels for him. The first time he had met him it had been like being struck by lightning. He’d tried to deny it, tried to make things work with Haley; but nothing he did seemed to work, and while he was with her he could see the suspicion growing in her eyes every day.

Watching Spencer die had been like feeling himself die right along with him. He hadn’t been able to breathe, hadn’t been able to move with how much pain he was in. It wasn’t until Spencer had started breathing again that he could as well. He’d barely had enough strength to contain his tears in front of the rest of the team. The sheer relief he’d felt at the sight of Reid take a breath had told him that he was just fooling himself trying to make things work with Haley. It just wasn’t fair to her to be married to a man who could never love her like she deserved.

It wasn’t fair to him, either.

After a sleepless night spent wrestling with his decision to finally leave Haley, he walked into the hospital room to pick up Spencer and take him to the jet. One look at the sleeping genius was enough to dispel all his doubts. It didn’t matter if Spencer didn’t love him and could never love him, he would take a chance and tell him how he felt _after_ he told Haley he wanted a divorce. Steeling himself for the coming conversations, he gently touched Spencer’s shoulder to wake him.

Spencer startled awake with a yelp, a deer in the headlights sort of expression on his face, and even after he saw that it was just Hotch he didn’t seem to calm completely. He kept staring fearfully at a spot over the unit chief’s shoulder, and it broke Aaron’s heart to see Spencer so afraid and in pain. The younger man’s gaze slowly left the spot behind his left shoulder and drifted to his boss’s face, calming even as he raised a hand to his heart and rubbed at it absently.

“Hey Hotch,” he said softly, a small and uncertain smile on his face, even as he kept darting looks behind his boss.

“Hello, Spencer. You ready to get out of here?” Hotch asked, smiling back while mentally kicking himself for slipping and calling him by his first name.

“Sure, let me just get changed. Could you get my things?” Spencer replied, looking around to find his clothes.

Hotch handed him his go bag.

Spencer hobbled into the bathroom to change, refusing any help while Hotch left to gather Spencer’s belongings from where they had been left the previous night, and soon they were on their way to the airport to meet the rest of the team. The drive was quiet with each man immersed in his own thoughts.

When they arrived at the terminal, Spencer was relieved to be surrounded by his team, his family. He had been dreaming and hallucinating Hankel the entire time he’d been in the hospital. Tobias had been begging him to save him even as he’d bled out in front of him, and the young genius could feel his mind cracking under the immense guilt and strain of it all.

The presence of his team filled him with warmth and seemed to help shore up the cracks a little. Hotch’s calm strength on the drive over had helped him banish the ghost for a while. Even though they had barely spoken, it had filled him with a kind of peace he never felt with anyone else. With that in mind, he settled himself as close to the unit chief as he could while still being able to stretch out, and then he let himself drift, just listening to his teammates’ conversations, letting their quiet words wash over him and soothe him.


	3. Chapter 3

When they reached Quantico JJ and Morgan insisted on driving Spencer home and staying to take care of him, and Hotch was relieved that the team would be there for Spencer while he went home and said what he needed to say to Haley before he talked himself out of it. He drove slowly towards the house that hadn’t felt like home in a long time and parked in the driveway.

The dark-haired profiler took a deep breath to steel himself for the conversation he had never wanted to have, then got out of the car and let himself into the house.

“Hey, you’re back. I’m in the kitchen,” Haley called out, and Hotch made his way there slowly, reluctantly.

“Um, hi. Yeah, I’m back,” Hotch said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, not entirely sure how to tell his wife that he didn’t love her anymore.

Haley watched him fidget for a while with increasing frustration.

“What? What is it? Just spit it out Aaron,” she spat, anger clear on her face and her tone, “I can tell there’s something you want to tell me so just say it already.”

This was already going badly and Hotch could tell it was only going to get worse.

“I want a divorce, Haley,” he finally blurted out, mentally kicking himself as soon as the words rolled off his tongue.

“So the whore you’ve been sleeping with finally managed to convince you to leave me, did she?” Haley asked, her face twisting with malice.

“There is no whore,” he quickly countered, sad that she’d come to that conclusion so easily. He really couldn’t believe things had come to this. “I’m not cheating on you,” he added, “I would never do that to you.”

“Maybe not yet, but you want to,” she stated rather matter-of-factly, “Who is it that you’ve fallen in love with? Who stole you away from me?” She continued bitterly, the fight going out of her as she saw that Hotch wasn’t going to give her the fight it appeared that she’d wanted.

“I don’t think I should….. Anyway, I don’t know if they feel the same way about me as I do about them, but I can’t stay married to you when I feel this way about someone else,” Aaron said, refusing to meet her gaze, “It’s not fair to either of us.”

“Right. Aaron Hotchner...the man who always has to do the right thing,” Haley said bitterly, “And this is very fair, is it? Telling me that you want a divorce because you’ve fallen in love with someone else? At least do me the courtesy of telling me who took my place in your heart, Aaron!”

“I-I-I can’t,” Hotch faltered.

“No.  It’s not that you can’t, it’s that you won’t!” Haley yelled heatedly, walking forward to prod him in the chest with one sharp finger.

Hotch stepped back and absently rubbed his chest as he gazed apologetically at his wife.

“I am so so sorry this happened. I tried to make it work, but he’s just…I couldn’t help myself,” Hotch said sadly.

“Wait a minute…..you said HE?” Haley asked, a shocked look crossing her face, “You’re in love with a man? Is that why it didn’t work with us? Are you...are you _gay?_ ” she asked, her voice rising with every new word.

“No…I mean, I don’t think so. I’ve never felt this way about a man before. It’s just him. It’s only him. He makes me feel things I’ve never felt before,” Hotch answered, his face softening as thoughts of Spencer entered his mind.

The look of love on Hotch’s face as he spoke made Haley feel sick, but she couldn’t bring herself to say anything else. There was really nothing more _to_ say. Hotch had made his decision, made up his mind, and if she was being honest with herself, they had been over for a while now but had just been too chicken to admit it to each other.

“You can take the guest room tonight and find yourself a hotel in the morning,” she said as she turned and walked upstairs.

“Thank you,” Hotch muttered, sinking into the nearest chair where he buried his head in his hands and sighed.

The conversation had gone about as well as could be expected. Now he just had to work up the courage to tell Spencer how he felt. He sighed again, heavily, and stood up to make his way upstairs as well.  He needed a shower to wash the remnants of the last few days away, and get ready for bed. He would visit Spencer tomorrow and see how the younger man was doing. Just thinking about seeing him again made Aaron’s heart beat a little faster and brought a smile to his lips, and he fell asleep dreaming of a future with the young genius.


	4. Chapter 4

Spencer had finally managed to convince JJ and Morgan to go home, and he was all alone in his apartment. He’d had to practically push them out the door--especially JJ, who couldn’t seem to do enough for him to ease her guilt. They had restocked his kitchen for him with easy to cook meals so he would be able to fend for himself while he was on medical leave for the next week as he recovered.

The genius sank into the couch and laid down, turning on an old episode of Doctor Who that he watched through tired eyes until they began to droop and he started to fall asleep. He couldn’t bring himself to get up and move into the bedroom as he was comfortable where he was, so he stayed right there in front of the TV and fell into a deep sleep.

Suddenly, he jerked awake, unsure of what had woken him; then startled again when he saw a form in front of him through blurry eyes. He rubbed his eyes to clear the sleep from them and looked again, but the figure was still there.

The chestnut haired genius fumbled desperately for his glasses, and when he put them on he found himself staring at the bleeding figure of Tobias Hankel.  Hankel was looking at him with a pleading expression on his face as he held his bloody hands out to him.   
            “Save me?” the man begged, taking a step closer to Spencer.  
            The genius flinched back, shaking his head rapidly in disbelief while cringing into a ball on the couch even as the man he’d killed advanced on him. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t save you,” he cried, tears running down his cheeks as he willed himself to wake from what was surely nothing but a horrible nightmare.  
            “Why?” Tobias asked, looking heartbroken, “Why didn’t you save me? I tried to help you, Spencer....”

Suddenly, Hankel collapsed next to the couch, his body going completely still as unseeing eyes stared up at the young genius; and Spencer whimpered in fear, the guilt at not being able to help the other man, eating him alive.  He wasn’t sure how long it took, but eventually, he was able to move again, extracting himself from the couch and his ball of misery to creep towards his bedroom--careful not to go anywhere near Hankel’s still death-frozen body. As he turned away, he almost ran right into another ghost from his past--Philip Dowd--in an almost perfect replay of the way he had run into the man the day he had shot him.  
            Dowd looked exactly like he had that horrible day, the bullet wound in his head bleeding, transforming his face into a mask of blood and gore even as the man smiled evilly at Spencer.  
            “You, you little nothing...you’re the one who killed me!” Dowd thundered, “I still can’t believe a little twink like you could take me down. Admit it, you were just jealous of my skills. That’s why you shot me. Or better yet! Maybe you were aiming for that asshole boss of yours and you hit me by accident. Say it!” he yelled, his hands shooting out to grab Spencer’s shoulders, “Admit it! Come on….you know you want to.”  
            The younger man flinched away violently, almost throwing himself backwards as he tried to get away from the madman he’d had to kill to save the lives of everyone in the ER that day.  
            “No no no no no...you’re--you’re not real! This isn’t real...I’m just dreaming,” Spencer whimpered, pinching the insides of his arms in a desperate attempt to bring himself out of the nightmare. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from Dowd or the gruesome smile the man wore. “Why won’t I wake up? Please, just let me wake up...”

He stole a glance behind himself to see if Hankel was still where he’d last seen him and was slightly relieved to find that he was gone; but when he turned back to Dowd, the man’s evil smile was gone, replaced by the burned and scarred visage of the Fisher King.  
            “You were supposed to ask the question that would heal me,” the man accused, voice broken and raspy, “Why didn’t you? Why couldn’t you heal me? Your mother told me you were the smartest person in the world, and I know you could have healed me if you’d tried. Why didn’t you just try? Why?”

Spencer to let out a mewl of sadness even as he sank his face into his hands, shaking his head rapidly from side to side. He couldn’t reconcile what was happening, and he needed it to stop. “I need to wake up. I--I really need to wake up now. This can’t be real. It can’t. Please,” he begged, praying to whatever deities may be listening as tears streamed freely down his face, “Please just let me wake up. _Please!”_

He ran towards the relative safety of his bedroom, ducking and weaving around Garner as he fled, only to throw open the door and fall back in shock at the sight before him.  
            “You wouldn’t let me die, so they all had to die,” a gore-covered Nathan Harris lamented as he waved his soiled knife at the bloody corpses of the women he’d killed...the corpses that were currently spread all over every surface of the room, “Why wouldn’t you just let me die?” he asked, holding the blade out to Spencer as he fell to his knees, “Will you kill me now? Please?”

Spencer pressed his hand to his lips, biting back his cries of despair as he turned away from the sight before him, sinking to the ground. He buried his head between his drawn up knees as he sobbed out his fear and guilt. He didn’t think he could take any more of this, and he really wished he would just fucking wake up already, when he suddenly felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, stroking softly through his hair. He looked up quickly, wondering what fresh nightmare would be in front of him this time when he saw his mother’s gentle face.

“M-Mom?” He asked, uncertain. He knew his mother could be fierce, especially in his defense, but she had also been very loving and gentle with him. The face she wore now was that one--the one of the sweet, gentle woman he remembered. He hadn’t seen her in years...not since he was a very young child, before her illness and the confusion it had brought with it carved lines of care and sadness into her beautiful face.

He had missed this face.

“My beautiful boy. So smart. You always did take the weight of the world onto your own shoulders,” Diana sighed, tenderly curling her fingers under his chin and nudging it upwards as her eyes met his, “Let me look at you.” Spencer could barely remember his mother’s eyes looking so clear and unclouded by disease and medication as they did now, and he found himself fascinated by the light and love he could see there. “My poor baby,” she softly continued, “Come on, let’s get you in bed. I’m sure you’ll feel better in the morning, and maybe you can come visit me soon, hmm? There are a few things I need to tell you….about your father.”

Diana helped her son up off the floor and led him into the now thankfully empty bedroom; and Spencer sank down into the bed, pulling the sheets up around himself, doing his best to hide away from the world. He fell asleep to the feel of his mother running her deft fingers through his hair soothingly as she softly whispered, “I forgive you, you know, for what you did to me. Abandoning me to that place instead of taking care of me like a son should.”

He almost startled awake at that whisper, but Diana soothed him back to sleep.

He was too tired and heart sore to fight it.


	5. Chapter 5

When Spencer woke the next day it was nearly noon, the sun’s rays peeking through the slats in his blinds having disturbed his sleep. He was troubled to find that he was in his bed and not on the couch where he remembered falling asleep. It made him question whether what he remembered of his ‘dream’ from last night was real or not. He’d never had a dream that vivid or remembered one that clearly before on waking.

He quickly shrugged it off as a simple case of sleepwalking and pushed any other concerning explanations aside as he got up to get himself some coffee. He was trying desperately not to notice the signs of his flight from the couch last night when he’d knocked over some books on the coffee table in his haste. The fact that things were exactly how he remembered leaving them in his ‘dream’ didn’t help his nerves at all.

He’d finally straightened up the living room and settled himself on the couch with a cup of coffee, trying to think of an explanation, _any explanation_ that would account for the things that had happened last night when he looked up into the face of his mother once again. Only, this woman was definitely not the same woman from last night’s dream. This was his mother deep in the middle of one of her episodes; this was Diana Reid at her most irrational, and this had to be a hallucination.

That thought chilled him to the bone.

“How can you just sit there like that when you’ve left me to rot in that hell hole?” Diana asked, “They steal my things, wake me up in the middle of the night for no reason, and I think they’re trying to poison me with all these drugs they keep forcing me to take. Why would you take me away from my life and my home and force me to live here? You selfish, selfish child. You did this just so you could go off and live footloose and fancy-free, didn’t you? Didn’t you? Admit it!” she screamed in his face, her hands gesticulating wildly, almost hitting him at times. Spencer could do nothing but cower away from her on the couch as she continued to rant. “And how is that working out for you then, hmm? Kill anyone lately? How any son of mine could become a government stooge, I’ll never understand. You’re probably involved in this plot to kill me, aren’t you? Just so you can finally be free of me!”

Just then there was a knocking on the front door. Spencer ignored it, though, staying curled in a ball on the couch as far from his mother as he could get as she ranted on and on. The knocking got louder and louder as Diana continued to scream imprecations at him till he couldn’t ignore it any longer; and he slowly got up from the couch, making his way to open the door with Diana following hot on his heels, still screaming accusations.

He opened the door to find Hotch standing there looking concerned.

“Hi,” he said, trying his best to ignore the hallucination of his mother, who was now glaring sullenly at him from across the room.

“Spencer….are-are you ok?” Hotch asked uncertainly.

“I’m fine. Just fine,” Spencer lied emphatically. He couldn’t let Hotch know he was seeing things. “Um, was there something you wanted?” he asked, trying to get rid of his boss as soon as possible so he wouldn’t give away his condition.

Hotch was startled by Spencer’s distracted and cold attitude towards him. The genius had never been anything but kind and courteous before, and he wondered if Spencer might be blaming him for Hankel.

“I-I just wanted to check on you….can I come in?” the unit chief asked hesitantly. He had come here as soon as he managed to pack most of his things and move them into a hotel that morning, hoping to be able to tell Spencer how he felt and hopefully have his feelings reciprocated. But now he could see that Spencer was clearly not in any condition to listen to him, even as the genius reluctantly moved out of the doorway and let him in.

Spencer nervously darted glances at Diana as Hotch came in and looked around before turning to look at the genius, his concern apparent on his face.

“Are you sure you are doing ok, Spencer? Is there anything I can do to help? Even if you just need to talk, I’m here for you. I hope you know that,” Aaron said, looking around to see if he could spot where the genius’s gaze kept landing. He had seen the drugs in the shed, and he really hoped that wasn’t what Spencer was so nervous about. The doctors had said that there were no more drugs in Spencer’s system, and he had been hopeful, but the way Spencer’s gaze kept darting around the room made him start to have doubts.

While Aaron’s concern and offer of help warmed Spencer’s heart, he couldn’t risk taking the chance of the man finding out just how crazy he was feeling as he stared at the hallucination of his mother mumbling insults at him from behind Hotch’s shoulder.

“Like I said, I’m fine. Perfectly fine. I just woke up...um, bad dream. I guess I’m still a little jittery from it, that’s all. But you’ve seen that I’m ok now, so you can go. There’s no need to feel guilty,” Spencer said, speaking quickly while moving to edge Hotch out the door.

Hotch was hurting to see Spencer this way. This was not how he had hoped this day would go. Heartsick at Spencer refusing anything to do with him when he clearly needed someone to care for him, Hotch reluctantly turned and left, saying, “If you’re sure. Call me if you need anything, alright?”

As soon as Hotch crossed the threshold, Spencer slammed the door and sank down to the floor, back against the door with his hands up covering his ears to drown his mother out, silent tears running down his face.

“You know you’re sick like me now, don’t you,” she taunted, “You have to face the facts. Better to have yourself committed now before you become a burden on anyone else. But wait...” she pauses for a moment, and he could hear a smile in her tone, “That’s right….you don’t have anyone to take care of you. The life you abandoned me for is empty….no wife…no girlfriend…heck, no boyfriend either.”

“Stop,” Spencer whispered, voice hoarse as he clenched his eyes even tighter, “Stop, please stop. I’m begging you, just stop this because yes, I can see I’m every bit as sick as you are, thank you very much. I’ll be joining you in Bennington soon enough…..so can you just leave me alone for now?”

Suddenly there was complete silence in the apartment, and he looked up to find he was completely alone again. Sighing brokenly, he sank further towards the floor, feeling as if all his strength had left right along with his mother.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm ignoring the whole Adam storyline .....just bear with me ok....I'll try to make it good....lol

Sam and Dean looked at each other incredulously. Had they heard Gabriel right? Did the flighty archangel just tell them they had a brother that nobody knew about?

Like, for real?

They rewound the disc and replayed it, listening closely as their friend spoke through the screen.

“Yes, you heard me right chuckleheads. You have a brother. A baby brother, younger than Sam by a couple of years. Your dad had a thing with his mom and then left town, and then Diana met William shortly after so they honestly thought he was William’s kid. I found out about it…I’m not going to go into how…and I protected the kid with a version of the runes Castiel gave you both. It hides him from both angels and demons and prevents him from being possessed by demons as well,” Gabriel explained, an expression of sadness crossing his face so quickly it was gone before the boys could even identify it as such. “I did my best to protect the kid from both sides, but the poor boy still had it tough growing up. His name’s Spencer Reid, Dr. Spencer Reid in fact. The kid is a certified genius with several PhDs to his name as well as a string of other degrees, and he works for the FBI hunting serial killers.” Gabriel paused there, a look of mischief in his eyes as he smirked, “That’s right....your brother’s a fed.  Oh, the irony!” There was a momentary silence and then the archangel sighed and continued, “Anyway, Luci didn’t know about his existence until two days ago when the kid died, and he had to bring him back to life. I would have paid to see the look on my brother’s face when he found out that I had hidden his true vessel from him and all his creepy little demons all these years. Yes, Samsquatch, you are not his true vessel, I’m sorry. I’m sure you’re really broken up about it. It was always going to be the youngest Winchester, but you’ll do in a pinch, which is why Lucifer is still playing games with you. Plan B and all that jazz.”

The Winchesters stared incredulously at the screen, still in shock apparently. They’d never thought that Gabriel--the Trickster for crying out loud--would ever have done so much to further their cause. That he had died to save the world was more than they had expected of him, but to find out that he had hidden the true vessel from Lucifer for so many years was downright astounding.

“Huh,” was the best that Dean could come up with after that speech.

“A brother,” Sam said, doing only marginally better at processing what they had heard. It was as though Gabriel’s words had stunned them both stupid.

“Ok so…a brother. I’m guessing he knows nothing about the supernatural, so how the fuck are we going to get him to believe us?” Dean asked when he finally managed to gather his thoughts.

“I’m guessing that Lucifer’s been playing around in his head like he has with me. Only, in this case, he has to cram several years of pain into a few days. Ugh,” Sam grimaced at the thought, “I don’t envy him at all for that, but it just might be our way in.” He ejected the disc from his laptop and brought up a search engine to look up Spencer’s information.

“But first we have to find him, which I’m guessing isn’t gonna be easy since he’s hidden _and_ a Fed. And don’t that beat all? Our brother...is a Fed,” Dean said, a look of wonder crossing his face as he contemplated the enormity of actually having another brother, “But wait a minute...how can we be sure that Gabriel’s telling the truth?” he asked as he came to lean next to Sam, looking curiously over his shoulder as the younger Winchester searched for Dr. Spencer Reid.

“We don’t,” was Sam’s quick reply, piggybacking off the wifi of a nearby house, “But, I mean, why would he lie to us? He’s not even around to see the fallout, and you know how much he loves watching the results of his tricks.”

“Sounds like you two would get along, though,” Dean added, nodding at the computer screen as he leaned back against the car, “He’s a nerd like you.”

“Oh no. I’m not even anywhere close to his league. I mean, look at this, Dean,” Sam said, impressed despite himself, “His bio on the website says he has an IQ of 187, which is higher than Einstein had. He’s not even 25 yet and he already has doctorates in Math, Chemistry, and Engineering, plus bachelors degrees in Psychology and Sociology. He’s also been working for the most elite unit in the FBI--the Behavioral Analysis Unit--for the past four years, so that means he probably got all those degrees before his 21st birthday. Wow! Yeah, I’m nowhere near as smart.”

“Yeah ok, he has book smarts. He’d probably still not survive our life,” Dean said, stubbornly refusing to let himself be impressed by this newly discovered brother.

“Weren’t you listening? He’s been hunting serial killers since he was 21, hunting human monsters if you will. I guess hunting is in his blood like it’s in ours.  I’m sure he’d survive just fine,” Sam insisted, “He has to be very brave and tough to have stuck it out for so long.”

“Eh, whatever,” Dean scoffed, waving off Sam’s words even as he felt a creeping sense of pride rise up for the little brother he never knew he had, “So, where do we find this genius then?”

“Gabriel said he died a couple of days ago; I’m guessing that was on a case, so he’s probably at home in DC recuperating,” Sam answered, brows furrowing at the thought.

“I guess we’re going to DC then? Land of the Feds. Perfect!” Dean drawled sarcastically, moving to slide into the driver’s seat of the Impala, “Any idea how we find his address once we get there?”

“I know it’s not ideal, but at least the feds think we’re dead. I suppose we start with the place he works and see if we can get any info there,” Sam said, shrugging as he got in as well.

And just like that, they set off towards DC to find their newly discovered brother.


	7. Chapter 7

“Ok, so we’re here. Any ideas how we’re gonna find the address of a Fed? Can’t ask Cas to find him since he’s got those rune thingies,” Dean said as they checked into their cheap motel, “I bet you couldn’t just find it on some FBI website. It’s probably protected or some shit,” he continued, opening the door to the room and falling across the closest bed.

Sam sat down on the next bed and pulled out his laptop to continue his research.

“Yo Sammy!” Dean groused, tossing a pillow in his brother’s general direction, “Talking to you here.”

“If you would just shut up for a bit I could see if his name is on any property records,” Sam said reflexively, catching the pillow with practiced ease before putting it behind him to make himself more comfortable.

“Not bad Sammy. Ok...you do your research and I’ll go get us some grub. I’m starved!” Dean said as he walked towards the door.

Sam waved him off distractedly, already lost in his research of property records; and by the time Dean returned he’d found the deed to Spencer’s apartment and had the address in hand. He grinned at the older man triumphantly when he walked in balancing takeout containers in his arms.

“I found him,” he said, catching the bag of food his brother threw at him and opening it up, shoving a handful of fries in his mouth, “We can go see if he’s in after we eat.” He pulled out a rather sad looking salad that was also in the bag and gave it a mournful glance.  

“Sounds good,” Dean said, settling himself on the other bed and proceeding to tuck into his own burger and fries.

When they finished, they drove to the address that Sam had found, arguing all the way about what they would say to this new found brother of theirs. They knocked repeatedly on the door, but there was no response. It didn’t seem like there was anyone home, Dean pulled out his lock-picks and got to work.

“What are you doing?” Sam hissed, looking around furtively to make sure they weren’t being watched, “If he catches us breaking into his house it won’t be pretty. He’s a Fed, remember?”

“Relax Sammy, I got this,” Dean said, unlocking the door and opening it with a flourish. Sam looked behind him again to make sure there was no one around and then reluctantly slipped through the door, Dean following close behind.

The first thing they noticed was that the place looked deserted, like someone had left in a hurry. There were empty spots on the shelves where books and DVDs probably used to sit. While Sam took a closer look, Dean made his way into the bedroom.

“Looks like someone packed and left in a hurry. You don’t think he’s gone on a case or something, do you?” he asked uncertainly.

“He wouldn’t take DVDs if it was a case, would he?” Sam countered, moving towards the kitchen. As soon as he entered, he spotted a letter sitting on the counter. “Ah, Dean,” he called, and when his brother joined him he gestured to the paper, “Think we should open it?”

“Yeah…I think we should,” Dean answered, moving forward and picking up the envelope. It looked to be addressed to Spencer’s BAU team, and he carefully opened it up as he muttered, “I have a bad feeling about this.”

_Hi guys,_

_I’m sorry you had to find out about me leaving like this, through a letter, but I just couldn’t face you to tell you. I guess I’m not strong enough to say goodbye in person to the people who’ve become the closest thing to a family that I’ve had in years, so this letter will have to do._

_It seems like the drugs Hankel gave me, along with everything else that happened there has triggered my latent schizophrenia. I’m seeing things I know aren’t real. I’m having hallucinations. I tried to convince myself that it was all just a residual effect of the repeated drugging, but the hallucinations persisted even after the drugs were completely out of my system._

_This isn’t what I wanted, of course, but please don’t feel bad for me. I’ll at least get to spend more time with mom now. I’m going home, back to Vegas, and I think I’ll be quite happy with mom in Bennington. It’s a nice place, all things considered. Once I’m settled, I’ll write to you again, and I wouldn’t mind getting the occasional letter from the outside world. But please, don’t visit me there. I don’t want you to see me like I am now. I’d rather you all thought of me as I was before instead of the wreck of a man that I am now._

_Spencer._

The letter was accompanied by Spencer’s resignation from the FBI.

“Oh, wow. Ok, this doesn’t sound good. The poor guy thinks he’s schizophrenic,” Dean growled, nearly crumpling the letter in his clenched hands. He was angry and frustrated with how Lucifer was yanking his brothers around, and a surprising and unwelcome feeling of protectiveness welled up inside him towards the little brother he’d never even met. “Lucifer’s got a lot to answer for.”

“He’s gone to Vegas, and we need to get there like yesterday, before he does something stupid and irreversible. It sounds like Lucifer’s found his weak spots, and he’s pushing at them. _Hard._ ” Sam said, pulling the letter out of Dean’s hand and reading it again rapidly, “Wonder where Bennington is and what he means by ‘spending time with mom’.”

“Put it back and let’s go. We can look up Bennington in Vegas when we get back to the room,” Dean said as he made his way to the front door. With a nod, Sam followed, and the brothers left, locking the door behind them.  


	8. Chapter 8

Morgan was worried about his friend.

Nobody had heard from Spencer in the past few days, and any messages and calls had gone straight to voicemail with no reply. He didn’t blame the kid for wanting some alone time after the whole ordeal with Hankel, but it was probably not what he needed right now. So that’s why Morgan was here, knocking on the genius’ door determined to see if his teammate and best friend was alright. He thought of the younger man as the little brother he never had, and he needed to help him in any way he could. The events in Georgia had been tough on more than just Spencer, and Morgan had been woken up regularly, drenched in cold sweat on the heels of dreams where Spencer died in that shack again.

He knocked and knocked until finally, he was worried enough to use the spare keys Spencer had given him for emergencies. He called out as he opened the door, but he could tell that there was nobody in the apartment. Still, he poked his head into the bedroom and bathroom to check. Getting more worried by the minute, he continued to search; but when he entered the kitchen, his heart sank. Sitting on the counter was an envelope addressed to the whole team. Trying hard to control his worry about the younger man, he grabbed the letter and left, already messaging Hotch to get the others so they could read it together as soon as possible.

When he got to the conference room, he found everyone already waiting for him.

“I went to check on Reid, and I found this there,” he said without preamble, tossing the letter on the table between them. He looked around to find his concern reflected on the faces of his entire team.

“Spencer wasn’t there?” Hotch stated as much as asked. He was cursing himself for not pushing when he’d seen the younger man a week ago. He’d noticed that there was something wrong but had been afraid of pushing too hard, and now he wondered if pushing would have prevented this….whatever _this_ was.

Gideon slowly pulled the letter closer, then opened it and read it out loud, his voice getting more strained when he came to the part about Spencer going to Bennington. By the time he’d finished reading, Garcia was sobbing openly while Emily, JJ, and Morgan tried to comfort her, unshed tears in all their eyes.

Hotch tried to maintain his stoic facade, but he was utterly heartbroken at the thought of what his love was going through on his own. The unit chief was torn between rushing after the man he loved to try and help him or honoring his wishes to stay away.

Guilt at letting this happen was eating away at each and every one of them as they sat in silence, broken only by Garcia’s sobs as they tried to come to grips with what had happened to the baby of their little family. Finally, Gideon crumpled the resignation in his hands, pushed away from the table and walked off without another word, a conflicted expression on his face. Hotch wasn’t sure the older man would ever be the same again.

To be honest, he wasn’t sure any of them would ever be the same again.

As though Gideon’s exit was some kind of sign or opening of a floodgate, the rest of the team began to leave one by one.

Hotch had a feeling that the loss of Spencer would break their team in a way that they would never recover from. He found himself driving aimlessly around, unwilling to go back to his sad little hotel room--the tangible reminder of all that he’d lost and all that he’d probably never have now. Finally, he made his way to the front step of one David Rossi, unsure of exactly why or how he’d ended up there. Rossi was an old friend and had been his mentor when he’d first joined the BAU. The man had an uncanny knack for helping Hotch get his head on straight when he was confused, and Aaron really hoped that he would be able to help in this case. He knocked and then waited, hoping that Dave was home and not entertaining.

“Dave,” Hotch said in greeting when the other man opened the door.

One look at the unit chief and Rossi could clearly see that there was something seriously wrong. The older man dragged him into the house and shut the door, pushing him to sit down while pressing a drink into his hands.

“Talk to me Aaron,” Dave prodded when Hotch just sat there blankly staring at  his drink, “What’s wrong?”

It took a couple of fits and starts, but finally it all came tumbling out--how he’d fallen in love with Spencer despite his best efforts; how Hankel had captured and tortured the young genius, along with the consequences of his captivity; and how he had asked Haley for a divorce and was now living in a hotel.

Rossi sat there through it all, a stunned look on his face. He’d never thought he would see the buttoned-down and proper Aaron Hotchner so undone over a teammate, and a male one at that. His heart ached for his friend and the exceptional young man he loved, who had so tragically been forced to leave the bureau. He sat down next to Hotch and placed a hand on his shoulder; and the unit chief just crumpled, sobbing in his friend’s arms. Rossi continued to hold him, letting him get it all out, letting him cry and grieve.  

By the time Hotch had cried himself out, he’d fallen into an exhausted sleep, and Rossi settled his friend more comfortably on the couch, tucking a blanket around him. He could think of no way that he could help his friend other than to listen to him and try to help him figure out what he wanted to do from here.


	9. Chapter 9

The brothers had quickly figured out that Bennington was a sanitarium for the mentally disturbed, and this increased their urgency of finding Spencer tenfold. They made a call to Castiel, and after some convincing, the angel agreed to help them get to Vegas quickly. It took some effort on the angel’s part and left him feeling a little drained, but he managed to transport both the boys and their car to Vegas.

By the time they reached Bennington the boys had still not figured out how to convince Spencer of the truth. They knew that it was going to be even harder now that the young genius was convinced that he was schizophrenic.

“There, that’s him entering the building,” Sam said as he spotted Spencer and hurried forward calling his name, followed by Dean and Cas.

Spencer heard someone calling him and stopped, surprised to see strangers rushing towards him. “Um, yes?” he asked uncertainly, scanning their faces, searching for familiarity. He didn’t recognize them at all, and he had no idea what they could possibly want with him. He didn't need any distractions for this; he was already struggling not to deny what was happening to him as it was, and he really wanted this done before his courage failed him. The voices had stopped trying to convince him to have himself committed as soon as he’d reached Vegas, and now they were trying to get him to go somewhere else….he wasn’t too clear on where, though.

“Dr. Reid, I know you don’t know us from Adam,” the shorter of the two spoke brusquely, “but there’s something you should hear before you go in there and do something unnecessary and irreversible.”

Spencer bristled a little at this stranger telling him what he should and shouldn’t do; but before he could open his mouth to object the taller of the two started talking.

“This is very important, Dr. Reid. I promise. Please, just spare us a few minutes of your time and hopefully, it’ll be worth your while.”

Spencer really didn't want to listen to them, but they looked so earnest standing there. “Fine,” he huffed, glancing between the two. Judging by their body language and similar features, he decided they had to be related--probably brothers. “You have my attention.”

“We uh….just found out that we had a brother…..half-brother if you will, and we…” Sam faltered then, finally throwing an uncertain glance Dean’s way as his words ground to a halt.

“Look, Doc, we just found out that our dad did the nasty with your mom many, many years ago,” Dean growled, forthrightly, as though saying it straight out would somehow make the news easier to swallow, “And you just happen to be the product of their fling.”

Spencer gaped at the brothers, not sure if this was some kind of prank or if they were really serious. Delusional, just like him, maybe. “Me?” He scoffed, “You think...you think _I’m_ your brother?”

“Half-brother,” Sam offered, wincing slightly after he said it.

“Fine. Okay. _Half_ -brother,” Spencer repeated, still looking incredulous, “How, exactly? Do you--I mean--there’s no proof of this. William Reid is my father.”

“Yeah, well, nobody but an old, ah...friend of the family knew about you,” Sam quietly answered, “Even Dad didn’t know. We’re not entirely sure about your mother.”

“I…uh….I think I should talk to my mother first,” Spencer said, gathering himself and moving towards the door with a very different purpose than he'd first intended.

“Do you mind if we come with you? There’s more we need to talk about. A family legacy of sorts,”  Dean butted in, moving to keep pace with Spencer.

“Oh, I’m Sam, by the way,” Sam smiled sheepishly and pointed to Dean, “and this is my brother, Dean.”

“Uh, Spencer,” the genius said in reply, waving awkwardly as the trio made their way into Bennington together.

“Hello Dr. Reid,” the friendly nurse at reception greeted him, then furrowed her brows, “We weren’t expecting you, were we?”

Spencer forced a smile and shook his head, “No….it was a spur of the moment trip. How is my mother today?” he asked.

“She’s good. This is one of her better days.” She paused, looking between the three men, “Your friends visiting too?”

“Uh yes, distant relatives,” Spencer muttered absently as he signed in. He gave her one last smile, then turned and led the brothers towards the sunroom where his mother usually spent her days when she was feeling lucid.

Diana looked up from her book when he came to stand in front of her, and her face lit up with recognition. “My Spencer!” she exclaimed, a joyous smile on her face as she stood and pulled him into a warm embrace, “My sweet boy! What a nice surprise!”

“Hey, mom. How are you doing?” he asked, smiling at her--the first, true smile he'd given anyone in weeks.

Diana pulled back, her eyes meeting her son’s. “Let me look at you,” she murmured, examining him, “Oh no.......I know that face. What happened, baby? Talk to me.” Spencer averted his eyes from her scrutiny, and that's when she finally appeared to notice the two boys standing behind him. She frowned in consternation. “You look familiar. Where do I know you from?” she asked, mumbling slightly to herself.

“Funny you should ask,” Dean said, giving her one of his most charming smiles, “You knew our father. John Winchester.”

“Ah yes.” Her eyes lit up, “You have his smile. But that was years ago...before I met Spencer’s dad. What are you doing here now?” she asked, frowning slightly, “Tell me, how is John these days?”

“Dad died a couple of years ago. We actually came here because a friend of the family...um, well, he told us that your son, Spencer, was our brother.” Dean said brusquely, ignoring Sam elbowing him to try to shut him up.

“Oh… _.oh_ …” Diana sat down suddenly, a thoughtful expression on her face, “I’m sorry to hear about John, but I suppose what you're saying is a possibility. I never thought of it like that, but yes...I guess it _is_ possible,” she continued, casting her son an apologetic look.

“Really?” Spencer said incredulously, gaze darting between the brothers and his mother, “You’re telling me it’s possible that William Reid isn’t actually my father? And that I could have _brothers_?” He sank to his knees as he tried to take in the information.

“The timing is a little close, but yes Spencer, it is possible.” Diana grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle pat, “It _would_ explain some things though, wouldn’t it?”

“Wow….I just…wow…. _brothers_?” Spencer gasped, collapsing into a seated position on the floor, looking up at the brothers as they looked down at him, a slightly worried expression on both their faces.

“I think you have some catching up to do with these boys, Spencer. Why don’t you come back and visit tomorrow, hm? It looks like there’s something they want to tell you, but I have a feeling they don't want to do it in front of me,” Diana said, gently stroking her fingers through Spencer’s curls.

The genius gave her a smile and nodded, getting up, “I’ll be back tomorrow, but you're sure you’re alright?” he asked.

“I’m fine. Go on…it’s not every day one gets brothers, after all,” she smiled, waving away his concern.

Spencer gave his mother a kiss on the cheek and gestured for the brothers to follow him as he made his way out of the building.


	10. Chapter 10

“So, is there a place close by where we can eat and talk?” Dean asked, rubbing his stomach, “Because I’m starving.”

“You’re always hungry,” Sam countered, rolling his eyes at his brother, “But he’s not wrong,” he continued, giving Spencer an encouraging smile, “Is there a place we can go and talk?”

“Yeah, there’s a diner down the road we can go to,” Spencer said, leading the way.

When they got to the diner Spencer settled himself in a booth facing the door while the Winchesters sat together facing him. When the waitress appeared he ordered a steak and vegetable plate for himself while Dean ordered a burger and fries and Sam ordered a salad; then they proceeded to sit in awkward silence for a few minutes after the waitress had left. None of them knew how to begin.

“So….if Mom didn’t know, and your dad didn't know, then how did your friend know I was….you know…?” Spencer asked the question had been tickling the back of his mind.

“You wouldn’t believe us if we told you,” Dean said, sighing inwardly at the battle he knew he would have trying to get Spencer to believe them.

“Try me.”

Sam and Dean exchanged glances, and with a sigh decided it was best to just be blunt.

“All the things that go bump in the night are very real. The supernatural is real,” Dean stated, “Angels, demons, vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters...the whole shebang. They’re all real.”

“Oh great. That’s just fantastic. Either you two think I’m a gullible idiot or you’re just as crazy as my mother, and now I have to worry about inheriting mental illness from both sides of the family,” Spencer hissed, then muttered under his breath, “No wonder I’m seeing things, clearly my entire family is delusional.”

“We’re not trying to trick you in any way, and we’re not delusional, Doc. Just please, hear us out,” Sam pleaded.

“You know, that’s exactly what delusional people would say; and I should know...I’ve talked to many delusional people in my line of work,” Spencer answered, moving to get up and leave.

“I think he needs some proof,” Sam murmured, glancing toward Dean, “Could you call Cas?”

“Proof? How could you possibly have proof for this?” Spencer spat, still getting ready to leave as Dean got out his phone and asked Cas to come to them.

One moment there was no one in the booth next to him, and the next there was a sound like the flapping of giant wings filling his ears; then a guy in a trench coat was sitting in the seat Spencer had just vacated, looking up at him quizzically.

“Wha-what?” Spencer exclaimed, stumbling backward to get away from the man who’d suddenly appeared out of nowhere, “How? How is this happening? I’m seeing things again!”

“Is this the vessel?” Castiel stoically asked, looking slowly between the three men.

“V-v-vessel?” Spencer faltered, eyes wide, staring at the impossible man in front of him, “What vessel?”

Just then, the waitress came by with their food. She ignored the distraught Spencer and set down the plates before turning and asking Castiel if he wanted any food.

“Y-you see him too? He’s real?” Spencer asked her hesitantly.

“Well, of course, I see him. Why wouldn’t I?” she answered, giving him a wary look--a look that made him feel even crazier.

“But, he wasn’t here when we ordered food, right?” Spencer asked.

“Ummm, no,” the waitress answered with a concerned look before quickly making her escape so he couldn't ask anything more.

Spencer watched her go--watched her walk up to the other waitresses, murmuring to them as she glanced back at him. She was clearly warning them about the crazy man, him, and his face burned red with mortification. That, more than anything, convinced him that he wasn’t seeing things.

“Sit down please, Spencer. We really need to talk,” Sam said pleadingly, “I know it’s a lot to take in, but it’s all real. I promise. This is Castiel,” he motioned toward the trenchcoat-clad arrival, “And he’s an angel.”

“A-angel? You’ve gotta be kidding, right? This can’t be real,” Spencer sputtered. He could feel his knees giving out,  and he collapsed into the seat, still staring wild-eyed at Castiel.

“I promise you he’s real. Very frighteningly real, unfortunately,” Sam continued, “The family business-- _our_ family business--is hunting the supernatural. We make sure they don’t hurt humans. Dad started hunting after our mother was killed by a demon.”

“So, it’s really all real?” Spencer asked, his mind racing as he struggled to reconcile this new information with his own worldview.

“Cas could you….you know heal him or something. Use your angel mojo? Please?” Dean asked, knowing the younger man needed some further proof.

“You know that’s not really my talent,” Castiel grumbled in protest, moving his fingers up to Spencer’s forehead, “It’s more Raphael’s specialty.”

The mention of Raphael had Spencer flinching, _hard._ “W-wait!” he cried, “I...a man who-who claimed to be the archangel Raphael just tried to freaking murder me! Was that...real? Do the angels really want me dead?”

“No, as far as we know Raphael is still in heaven; he hasn’t come down here since the last time we ran into him a few weeks back,” Dean said, looking at Cas as the angel nodded his confirmation.

“Angels can’t come down to earth in their true form, it would hurt the humans, but they _can_ inhabit the bodies of people belonging to certain bloodlines, like ours,” Sam explained, “This is why they need people in our family--or, well, Dad’s side of the family. They use us as meat suits provided we consent to it. Angels can’t take over your body without your consent, but demons can. That’s why we have these anti-possession tattoos.” He pulled the collar of his shirt down to reveal the symbol tattooed on his chest, “You should probably get one too, although I think Gabriel’s runes protect you from that as well.” He said glancing at Cas for confirmation as the angel stared at Spencer for a few minutes and nodded.

“So you’re saying that that’s really a human being with an angel running the show?” Spencer asked, gesturing to Castiel.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying. But the guy asked for it. Prayed for it, in fact,” Sam answered, “And that’s what we’re here to talk to you about.”

“What do you mean?”

“We know that you’ve been having hallucinations.”

“What? How? How the hell do you know that?” Spencer asked suspiciously, “Was it you? Have you been messing with my head?!”

“No. Spencer, no,” Sam answers in earnest, “That wasn't us, but there is someone who’s been able to get into your head, and I’m guessing he’s been playing on your deepest, darkest fears to isolate you from the people closest to you. He wants you vulnerable so you’re more amenable to his manipulations.”

“Who? Why would someone want to manipulate me like that?”

“Ok, just...bear with me here. I know it’s going to be hard to take, but there is an archangel who wants to use your body as a meat suit. The only thing is, he can’t do that unless you consent to it,” Sam quickly elaborated, although he was hesitant to actually mention Lucifer’s name, “So…he’s doing his best to weaken your defenses--attacking you psychologically so you’ll give in and say yes. He wants you to let him in.”

“Seriously?” Spencer scoffed uncertainly, “An archangel wants to use me? My body? Why? What’s so important that he wants to come to earth?”

“Ah, correction….Lucifer’s already on earth,” Dean jumped in to answer through a mouthful of burger, “He’s currently using some poor shmuck he managed to seduce to his side, but that body’s burning up quickly since it’s not his true vessel. Not like our bloodline would be.”

“I’m sorry...Lucifer? As in...the _devil?_ The devil wants my body?” Spencer sputtered, “You have to be kidding! You can’t possibly be serious...”

“We’re very serious. Before we found out about you, everyone thought that I was supposed to be Lucifer’s true vessel; but when you died, I guess it opened up a  connection to Lucifer and allowed him to find out about you,” Sam explained, the sincerity in his eyes helping to convince Spencer of the truth of his words, “That’s when Gabriel told us we had another brother and where to find you. He’d hidden you from both sides, so no one even knew about your existence.”

“Gabriel?” Spencer asked, “Another archangel?”

“Believe it or not….yeah,” Sam said, “He was as unwilling as we are to let Lucifer take control of his true vessel and fight Michael. That fight would be disastrous for the human race. It would literally be the beginning of the apocalypse.”

“Also, I’m supposed to be Michael’s vessel, and I really don’t fancy fighting my brother to the death and killing everyone else in the process,” Dean said, waving a hand in the air.

“Y-you are?” Spencer faltered. He had no illusions about his own strength, and he didn’t think he would win a fight against a man as well built and clearly well-trained as Dean.

“Don’t worry kiddo, I don’t plan on saying yes to Michael any more than Sammy here planned to say yes to Lucifer,” Dean reassured him with a grin.

Looking slightly relieved at the prospect, Spencer looked between the brothers and Castiel. “This story you’ve been telling me is very well thought out, but you still haven’t given me any actual proof. Hard evidence.”

“Cas showing up out of thin air, not enough for you, Doc?” Dean asked, slightly miffed.

“I’ve seen a lot of illusionists and magicians appear seemingly out of thin air. I’m an amateur magician myself. That’s good, but it’s not proof.”

“Cas, please heal his injuries,” Dean said, gesturing to the younger man.

Castiel immediately moved in to touch Spencer on the forehead once more.

“Whoa, whoa….what _are_ you doing?” Spencer asked, flinching away from the angel’s hand.

“I will heal you and you will believe. That is what the Winchesters desire,” Cas stated matter-of-factly, moving forward again; and Spencer moved away from him again, almost falling out of his chair in his haste to escape.

“I promise he won’t hurt you,” Sam tried to reassure him.

Spencer gave him a disbelieving look, then huffed out a, “Fine,” and held his breath, reluctantly allowing Castiel to touch him.

There was a glow of light from Castiel’s hand, and Spencer’s body arched as though in pain before he slumped in his seat, feeling drained but somehow immensely better at the same time. Miraculously, when he looked down, there were no more marks on his wrists, and it appeared that _all_ his injuries from Hankel’s torture had been healed. Even the brand that Hankel had given him didn’t hurt anymore. Spencer incredulously pulled off his shoes, socks, and bandages, and stared at the now faded scar in the place of the fresh brand that had been there just minutes before. He glanced up and stared, awestruck at the angel.

“Y-y-you really are an angel!” Spencer exclaimed in shock, “I-I-I...” he stuttered, stumbling in his haste to put some distance between himself and the angel. Once out of the booth, he turned and ran, nearly knocking down the waitress who was coming by to tell them to cut out the light effects as it was scaring the customers.

Sam quickly tossed down a few bills to cover their meal and hastened after the genius, calling out a quick apology to the waitress as he passed. Dean shot one last half wistful, half disgusted look at his burger and the other practically untouched food on the table before getting up and following his brother, calling to Cas as he went.  


	11. Chapter 11

They found the young genius sitting on the sidewalk next to his Amazon -- which he’d driven all the way from DC in an effort to postpone the inevitable -- with his head buried in his knees, body shaking like a leaf. Before they could reach him they saw a well-dressed man in a suit and sunglasses approach and gently lay a hand on the younger man’s shoulder before giving it a slight squeeze.

Spencer flinched at the touch and looked up, expecting to see one of the Winchesters or even Castiel.

“Spencer….are you alright?” Aaron asked, gently squeezing his shoulder before reluctantly letting go.

“H-H-Hotch?” Spencer stuttered, trying to control his shaking, “W-w-what are you doing here? Are you...I mean, are you really here?” He didn't know if he could believe his eyes, or if this was some sort of trick. He stared in disbelief at the man he thought he’d left behind forever, hoping beyond hope that what he was seeing was true.

“Yes Spencer, I’m really here. You can’t just leave like that and not expect me to follow,” Hotch said, “We’re friends. At least I thought we were, and whatever it is you’re going through, I want to be there for you. I want to help you through it. Please…just let me help you.” Aaron winced inwardly at how needy he sounded, but he didn’t think he could bear it if Spencer sent him away after he’d come all this way just to be close to the man he loved.

Throughout the entire plane ride he’d done nothing but second-guessed his decision to go to Vegas, wondering if the genius would even agree it see him; but in the end, he’d decided that he had to try. He couldn’t bear the thought of Spencer going through this on his own--facing his worst fears alone.

Spencer took the hand his unit chief was offering and stood up on shaky legs, yet being with Aaron was somehow calming the tremors.

Seeing Spencer so distraught, Aaron couldn’t help himself--he just gathered the younger man in his arms and held him close as the shaking turned into frightened, exhausted tears as the genius sobbed out his shock and fear into his chest. He held on as Spencer burrowed further into his arms, as though trying to get away from his reality--trying to escape; and it was breaking his heart to see his love in such a broken state.

As Spencer continued to cry, Aaron noticed two men looking on with pained and concerned expressions. He didn’t think much of it until Spencer began calming down and the men started to approach them.

“Spencer, we’re really sorry we had to tell you all that. Believe me, if we had a choice we would have left you to your life,” Sam said apologetically, “But we couldn’t have you thinking you were crazy and committing yourself, or worse, unknowingly saying yes to the devil and ending the world.”

There was nothing the genius wanted more than to stay in Aaron’s arms and ignore the world in that moment, but he knew that wouldn’t help anything, so he reluctantly pulled out of Hotch’s arms and turned to face his brothers.

“I know, I know,” Spencer rubbed harshly at his eyes, “And I guess I’m happy to know that I’m not going crazy…although I’m still not completely sure that this isn’t all one giant delusion. That would honestly make more sense right now.”

“Oh believe us, we know what that’s like,” Sam said, almost laughing, “We’ve seen it several times over the years with newbies.” He was relieved that Spencer wasn’t running away from them again, although he did notice that the younger man seemed to be ignoring Castiel’s presence altogether--doing his best to avoid looking at the angel at all. He would take what he could get, and Spencer agreeing to listen to them was better than nothing.

“Spencer?” Aaron said quizzically. He wanted to know who these people were. They seemed too familiar with the genius, and he had no clue what they were talking about, which only made him more anxious. His protective instincts were kicking in--all he wanted to do was keep Spencer safe. None of this made much sense to him, but he had caught the part where the genius wasn't going crazy. Apparently, someone was just messing with his head. The news was both an extreme relief and stoked his ire, inciting a blazing anger toward whoever had been hurting his love.

“Umm Hotch, these are…these are my brothers,” Spencer said hesitantly with a quick glance at the boys, “Sam and Dean Winchester, and their...friend, Castiel.”

“Brothers?” Hotch asked, brows furrowing as he moved forward to shake hands with the three men, “I didn’t know you had brothers.”

“Yeah, well, no one did. Apparently, my mom and their dad had a fling just before she met William Reid, and the timing was so close that nobody--including Mom--suspected that I could be John Winchester’s son and not William’s,” Spencer explained, a little bit of frustration leaking into his voice at the situation.

“So then how did you find out that they were related?” Hotch asked suspiciously, a small growl in his voice as he thought of someone taking advantage of Spencer.

“An old family friend who was keeping tabs on Mom figured it out and told them,” Spencer said, unsure of how much he should share with his boss. On one hand, he really wanted Aaron’s help and support, but on the other hand, he wasn’t quite sure what the unit chief was doing or why he was there, so he decided to play it safe.

“We just found out about this, too. Our friend, Gabriel, tracked us down after Dad died and told us about Spencer. To say it was a shock is putting it mildly,” Sam said, trying to soothe the older man’s fears, “We also had some information about what was going on with him, so we came to help. I swear we’re not trying to take advantage of him in any way.”

“This Gabriel person is reliable, is he?” Hotch asked, unable to completely quell his suspicions.

“Oh not in the least,” Sam said over Dean’s snort of derision, “but he wasn’t lying about this. Even Diana said it was possible, and also that it explained some things. It was sort of a deathbed confession...in a way.”

“So Gabriel is dead?” Cas asked a hint of disbelief in his tone at the idea of the Trickster truly being gone, “He’s _really_ dead?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry Cas,” Dean said, putting a hand on the angel’s shoulder.

“It’s ok. I’m fine,” Cas said, shaking off Dean’s hand and walking away, disappearing before he had walked even a couple of steps, making both Aaron and Spencer catch their breath in surprise. The brothers cringed inwardly at the display.

Spencer recovered first since he’d seen the angel appear out of thin air before, and surprisingly, he was sort of getting used to the man’s sudden appearances and disappearances. Hotch, on the other hand, stared at the space where the angel had been before turning to look wide-eyed at the three men.

“Wha-what was that? He-he just vanished?” he  gaped, open-mouthed, trying desperately to make sense of what he’d just seen, “He’s not some kind of magician is he?”

Dean rubbed a tired hand across his face and said, “We’d tell you, but you wouldn’t believe us anyway.”

Spotting Hotch’s ‘try me’ expression and glare, Dean ignored the pleading look on Spencer’s face and Sam’s wary one and decided to just tell the man what he wanted to know.

“He’s an angel. He can just appear and disappear at will. He can fly all the way across the globe in the blink of an eye,” Dean stated gruffly, glaring back at Hotch, “He's kinda like Tinkerbell.”

Hotch stared at Dean for a few minutes, waiting for the man to admit that he was lying, then turned to see the apologetic expression on Spencer’s and Sam’s faces and shook his head.

_It wasn’t possible. It simply wasn’t possible. Angels, the supernatural and the like...that stuff simply did not exist. They were just stories. But he had just seen a man vanish into thin air. But no…this was Vegas the man had to be some kind of illusionist or magician…right? But Spencer wasn’t speaking up and contradicting Dean. Spencer wouldn’t lie to him, would he?_

Still shaking his head, Aaron took a step back and backed into the car.

“Hotch, um are-are you ok?” Spencer asked, reaching out to touch his boss, “I’m sorry you saw that and I’m sorry Dean told you that, but it’s all true. You trust me right? We’re not lying. It’s all real.”

Hotch reached out and grabbed Spencer’s hand, holding it tightly, almost tight enough to be painful--enough to ground him. “How? H-how can it be real, Spencer? And if it is real, then how come we don’t know about it?” he asked, his voice slightly hoarse as though he'd been screaming out all the denials running through his head. He cleared his throat and tried again, “How come everyone doesn’t know about this stuff?”

“I guess that’s where the myths and legends come from. I’m also guessing that most people don’t live to talk about an encounter with the supernatural, and the few that do survive can be easily ignored.” Spencer said, looking at his brothers for confirmation.

“You’re not wrong, Doc. Most supernatural types are jerks. They just kill everyone they come across, or...well, turn them. Most don’t survive,” Dean quickly and enthusiastically agreed, “Believe it or not, even the angels are total douchebags. They don't give a crap about humanity.”

“Aren’t you just filled with optimism and positivity today?” Sam snarked.

“Hey, I’m just telling it like it is. Gabriel and Castiel are the anomalies as far as caring about humanity goes, and even they’re only mildly interested.”

“Guys, focus,” Spencer said, glancing at them while still holding Hotch’s hand; although the older man’s hold had gentled into a loose, easy grip. It was nice, comforting. He turned back to Hotch and smiled encouragingly, “I know this is a lot to take in. It was for me too, and I didn’t really believe it until Castiel healed me of all the injuries from Hankel. See…” Spencer let go of Aaron's hand and held his wrists up as evidence, “Not a mark on me.”

Hotch grabbed both hands and twisted and turned them, examining them for the bruises and cuts that should still be healing, but he couldn’t find anything. He looked up incredulously and met Spencer’s gaze. The genius just nodded encouragingly. Helping Hotch understand and believe was helping Spencer as well. It seemed like the more he talked about it, the easier it was to believe himself; not that it helped with the whole ‘devil messing with his head’ thing, but he did believe that Castiel was an angel and by extension that the supernatural had to be real.

As the genius turned back to Dean and Sam, he noticed that Hotch was still holding his hands and he couldn’t help the warmth that spread through his heart. He knew it was probably just the shock of the situation, the older man needing to hold on to something familiar, but that didn't make him like it any less. “Do you have a room here, Hotch? We can go there and they can explain exactly what’s going on,” he said, throwing the brothers a meaningful look.

“Sure. We’ll explain it to you and your boyfriend,” Dean deadpanned, nodding. When Sam elbowed him, he scoffed, “What? I’m just saying...”

Spencer reddened and instantly dropped the hands he was holding. “He…we….we’re not together, he stuttered, “He’s my boss and a friend. _Just_ a friend.”

Hotch was surprised at how much it hurt when Spencer let go of his hands and denied that they were anything other than friends. He knew that it was the truth, but still, it hurt. It hurt a lot. He swallowed painfully and nodded, then told them where his hotel was. They decided that Spencer would drive the two of them there while the Winchester brothers would follow in their car.  


	12. Chapter 12

Once they were alone in the car Spencer asked the question that had been bothering him ever since he’d seen the older man. “What are you really doing  out here Hotch?” He cast an enquiring glance at Aaron and was surprised to see that the man seemed embarrassed, if the reddening of his cheeks were any indication.

“Like I said…I want to be here to help you through whatever it is you are going through.”

“Umm….what about Haley? What does she think about you dropping everything and flying across the country to help me?” Spencer asked, stunned that someone would do something like that for him.

“She…Haley and I...well, we’re getting a divorce,” Hotch huffed, looking straight ahead, refusing to meet Spencer’s wide-eyed stare as he continued, “It-it didn’t seem fair to be married to her when I’m in love with someone else.”

“H-Hotch?” Spencer asked, slamming on the brakes before he crashed the car in utter surprise, “I-I need you to be clear with me here. I don't wanna read between the lines or whatever. I just...I really need you to say it,” he rasped, struggling with the hope rising in his heart, “Please.”

“I love you, Spencer. I tried to fight it, but after watching you die I couldn’t lie to myself anymore, and I knew I was in love with you. It’s alright if you don’t feel the same. I don’t want to make it awkward between us. I just needed you to know. I’m done lying, and I’m done wasting time. If you really don’t want me around anymore now that you know how I truly feel about you then I’ll go and I’ll never mention this again, but I just had to say—“

“Hotch, Aaron, slow down,” Spencer cut in, a grin splitting his face as joy filled him, “And you guys say _I_ ramble.” He reached out and tenderly took the older man’s hand in his.

Hotch looked down at their entwined fingers and then back up to see the joyful smile on his love’s face, “Spencer?”

Spencer focused on parking the car in the hotel parking lot and then turned to the dark-haired profiler and smiled, “I love you too, Aaron. I have for a long time, I just didn’t think I stood a chance.” He leaned forward to cup the older man’s face in his hand, “I never knew you felt this way.”

Aaron leaned into the touch, smiling back at the young genius, warmth flooding his being as he absorbed the words he’d been dying to hear. He leaned in further to kiss the younger man when there was a knock on the glass of Spencer’s window.

The two men jerked apart and turned to see a grinning Dean staring back at them; and, blushing furiously, both men got out of the car.

“So...just friends, huh?” Dean asked teasingly, still grinning even as Sam rolled his eyes at him.

Hotch came round to join the brothers in front of the car.

“Maybe more than friends?” Spencer said tentatively, casting an inquiring glance at the older man.

Hotch took his hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “Definitely more,” he said smiling when Spencer blushed a darker shade of red, “We’ll talk more later?”

Spencer gave him a nod as his smile grew. Still holding hands, he led the three men to his room. They settled in, Hotch and Reid taking the love seat and the Winchesters taking the only other chair and the bed.

“I never got to finish my burger,” Dean groused, “Think they have room service in this joint?”

“Stop thinking about your stomach for once,” Sam scolded him, then turned to Aaron and Spencer, “I’m sorry about him. He’s such a child sometimes.”

“Hey.”

“What? You are,” Sam said, smirking, “Anyway, you wanted to know what was happening, right?” Sam continued, ignoring his brother’s pouting. The profilers were amused by the Winchesters’ behavior, but sobered quickly as Sam started explaining the situation...about accidentally letting Lucifer out of his cage in Hell, and how the fallen angel had been messing with Sam’s head trying to get him to say yes.

The Winchester’s took turns explaining how the horsemen had come out to play and how they had managed to kill two of them and take their rings, and how, according to Gabriel, they needed to get the other two rings so they could put Lucifer back in his cage. The profilers listened with increasing shock and awe to the stories of fighting demons, hellhounds, horsemen of the apocalypse, and even the devil himself.

When Sam was done, Aaron and Spencer stared at each other in silence, and with the ease of having worked together for years, they agreed wordlessly that they would be staying and helping the Winchesters in any way that they could.

“Wow. That’s some story,” Spencer said, “So, how can we help?”

“You really don’t need to help. As long as you promise to lay low and ignore whatever Lucifer throws your way you should be fine. He can’t find you physically since Gabriel protected you,” Sam said, a surge of protectiveness towards this new little brother filling the air. He wanted nothing more than for Spencer to be as far away from the fighting as possible.

“But if what you’re saying is true, and we don’t stop it, then there won’t be anywhere safe left to go,” Aaron argued, giving Spencer’s hand a gentle squeeze, “We can help, so let us. Anything to get Lucifer out of Spencer’s head.”

“Fine, but you’re gonna need some training since you’ve never faced monsters like this before,” Dean relented, turning to Sam and adding, “We’ll take them to Bobby’s while we hunt Pestilence. Bobby can help get them ready.”

“We can leave in the morning if that’s alright with you. I’m exhausted from the trip here, and I’m sure Spencer is too,” Aaron said, knowing the other man would never speak up for himself.

“Yeah sure, works or us. Travelling by angel air is always hard on a guy,” Dean easily agreed, getting up from the bed he’d been sitting on.

After making plans to meet up early in the morning to drive to Bobby’s place, the four men split up with Spencer staying with Aaron. They still had to talk some things over, after all, and there was also that kiss that had been interrupted. Spencer was really hoping for a redo on that.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning smut ahead.....lol

As soon as the hunters had left, Aaron spun around and crowded Spencer against the wall before kissing him breathless. After a startled second, Spencer responded with equal passion; and they kissed till their need for air was, unfortunately, greater than their need for each other.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” Aaron breathed into Spencer’s mouth before diving in for round two.

“Me too,” Spencer admitted in between kisses.

They stood there pressed against each other, exchanging breath and body heat till Aaron reached a hand under Spencer’s shirt to touch the smooth skin beneath, causing the younger man to gasp and sigh at the contact.

“Is this alright?” Aaron asked as he moved to remove Spencer’s shirt and kiss his way down his neck to his chest.

“Oh yes,” Spencer gasped, “More than alright. Don’t stop, please.”

“Oh my love, I have no intention of stopping until you come undone in my arms.”

Spencer’s whole body thrilled to hear the older man calling him love like that, and all he could do was moan a faint, “Yes please,” while the dark-haired man continued to play havoc with his senses, kissing and nipping at the smooth skin before moving to suckle and lick at the pebbled nipples, teasing moans from the young genius.

“Aaron, please,” Spencer groaned, “Please...need you.”

Aaron finally moved to kneel next to Spencer, his quick fingers making short work of removing the genius’ pants and boxers before leaning forwards to nuzzle in the fine hairs of the younger man’s crotch, breathing him in.

Spencer’s hands came up automatically to bury themselves in the short, dark hair of Aaron’s head as the older man gently licked and mouthed at his balls before pressing a kiss to the tip of his filling cock.

Without warning, Aaron took the entire length into his mouth, causing Spencer to cry out hoarsely in surprise and pleasure. Aaron hummed and bobbed his head, alternating between sucking on the tip and running his tongue along the thick vein on the underside, relishing in the feel and taste of it all, committing it all to memory, and leaving Spencer a babbling mess.

“A-a-Aaron, I’m gonna…gonna come,” Spencer managed to gasp after a few minutes of this treatment, but it only inspired Hotch to redouble his efforts, and soon the genius was coming in warm spurts down Hotch’s throat, crying out his pleasure wordlessly. Aaron milked him through his orgasm, sucking until he had nothing left to give before Spencer gently tugged on his hair to get him to stand up so he could kiss the taste of himself from the older man’s mouth.

“I love you,” Spencer said when the kiss broke, and they stood there for a minute, their foreheads pressed together, panting into each other’s mouths.

“I love you too,” Hotch answered, warmth filling him to hear those words again, “I love you so much.”

When Spencer moved to remove the other man’s pants and stroke his cock he felt a warm, sticky wetness and looked up inquiringly.

“I came when you did,” Hotch explained, flushing slightly in embarrassment, “It’s been years since I came in my pants, you know. You’ve turned me into a lovesick schoolboy.”

“Oh?” Spencer said, smirking with pride. The thought that sucking him off had brought so much pleasure to his lover thrilled him and caused his spent cock to twitch in renewed interest.

They quickly undressed the rest of the way cleaned, up in the bathroom and curled up together in the bed.

“If we survive the next few days and stop the apocalypse, we’re gonna have to talk about how this is gonna work once we’re back in the BAU,” Hotch said as he curled up, spooning the younger man. “You know,” he added after a few moments, “Those are words I never thought I’d ever say.”

“I know what you mean. I never would have believed any of this even just a day ago. And yes, we will talk……but later. Now…. sleep,” Spencer murmured, “With Lucifer messing with my head, I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in a very long time.” He yawned and snuggled back into the older man’s embrace, falling asleep almost instantly.

Aaron lay there holding him close and listening to him breathe until the soft breaths soothed him into sleep as well.

                                                            ~*~

When they woke a few hours later they made love slowly and lazily as they gently brought each other off using their hands all the while exchanging sweet sloppy kisses till it was just them breathing into each other’s mouths. When they were done they quickly showered together and ordered room service. While waiting for room service Aaron went downstairs to get Spencer’s bag so he would have something to wear besides the hotel robes--no matter how fetching the genius looked in it.

When the older man returned with his bag, Spencer took it, rewarding Aaron with a kiss, the easy affection pleasing both of them. They ate dinner in companionable silence filled with quiet smiles and lingering touches. Then they went to bed to sleep curled up together with Hotch’s head resting on Spencer’s chest as he listened to the beat of the younger man’s heart and let it soothe him to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Hotch’s presence seemed to have chased Lucifer out of Spencer’s dreams. Or maybe it was just that now that he knew the truth, the fallen angel didn’t see the point of messing with him. Either way, Spencer was grateful for the respite which allowed him to get a good night’s sleep.

They hurried to meet the Winchesters to find Sam and Dean arguing about something but neither would tell them what it was and just proceeded to grunt greetings at them before getting in the car to drive to Bobby’s. As before, Spencer and Aaron were in one car following Sam and Dean who took the Impala.

The drive down was pleasant for the profilers as they alternated driving and just enjoyed each other’s company, chatting about anything and everything that came to mind from their new reality to speculating about how the team might react to their new relationship. When they reached Bobby’s, the Winchesters quickly introduced Spencer and Aaron to the man, and then hastily restocked before leaving to confront Pestilence--one of the four horsemen.

Once Spencer saw Bobby’s collection of books he dove into his training the best way he knew how by diving headfirst into research. There was only so much other training that Bobby could offer from his wheelchair, and Hotch and Reid were already familiar enough with guns and hand-to-hand combat from their training in the FBI. Hotch picked up one of the many tomes as well and joined the genius in researching the apocalypse and ways to stop it.

Despite their best efforts, they couldn’t figure out a way for Lucifer to be sent to hell once the cage door was opened by the rings and they were slightly disheartened by the time the brothers and Castiel returned, bruised and bloody but bearing the ring.

Things moved quickly after that, with Crowley showing up to tell them about Pestilence’s plan to release the Croatoan virus in the flu vaccine and giving them information on Death’s whereabouts. After a few snarky comments from the crossroads demon, they split up with Sam, Castiel and Bobby leaving to stop the distribution of the virus and Aaron and Spencer going with Dean and Crowley to kill Death.

Spencer kept noticing the brothers arguing fiercely about something, and sometimes even Bobby would get involved, but no one would tell him what any of it was about; and despite his conviction that it was something to do with him, he didn’t feel comfortable enough with his new family to push.

In the end, Sam’s group had a more eventful trip, and finding Death turned out to be a bit of an anticlimax with Death just handing Dean the ring in exchange for him promising to let Sam jump into the pit. Spencer wasn’t sure exactly which pit they were referring to, but he had a feeling…..a very bad feeling.   

When they got back Spencer overheard Bobby telling Dean that maybe they should let it be Sam’s choice, allow Sam to decide if he wanted to let Lucifer in and jump into the pit with the fallen angel on board. The thought made him furious. That was what Sam and Dean had been discussing, and they couldn’t even include him in the discussion. “Why is Sam going to be the one who says yes to Lucifer?” he interrupted the two older men, arguing his point with indignation, “I’m the one who’s supposed to be his vessel, it should be me who says yes to him.”

Soon after, Aaron and Sam had joined them, hearing the raised voices.

“No, no absolutely not, no. You will _not_ do this. It’s bad enough that Sam wants to do this stupid thing, but _YOU?_ You are _not_ doing this,” Dean yelled, “You’re our baby brother, and you’ve had zero training, and you don’t know what the hell you’re dealing with. NO!”

“For once I agree with Dean. You’re not doing this,” Sam said, joining the conversation as he moved to stand next to Dean, “Besides, one person addicted to demon blood is more than enough. I’ll have to drink gallons of the stuff for my body to stand hosting Lucifer.”

Spencer cast a look at Aaron, but he already knew he would get no support from that quarter. He huffed unhappily but said nothing in return. He was quietly determined to do Sam’s part and not let the man sacrifice himself for their sake. The world needed Sam in it, to protect it in ways Spencer never could.

However, Sam and Dean guessed Spencer’s intentions quickly and locked him up in the panic room in the basement before leaving to find Lucifer.

Aaron wisely stayed out of the argument, but let his furious lover out once the boys had been gone long enough to give them a head start.

Spencer continued ranting and raving as he ran through Bobby’s house, cursing the stubbornness of his idiot older brothers who thought they knew everything. They didn’t know everything; if they did, they’d realize Spencer jumping into the pit would be the better option for everyone. It wouldn’t leave the world with one less Winchester to protect it. He even went so far as to turn his ire on Aaron, chewing him out for letting them do it in the first place until his annoyed lover grabbed him by the arms and kissed the breath out of him, halting his rant.

“Love,” Aaron murmured, “there’s no way, after all that we’ve been through together, that I would allow you to jump into hell without following you. I’d never let you do that alone; so, as much as I’ve come to value your brothers, it’s your choice. Allow Sam to do this for you, or we jump in together. You decide.” At that, Aaron stalked off towards the car.

Spencer watched him go in stunned silence. No one had ever said something like that to him. Nobody had ever cared enough about him to jump into literal _hell_ with him--or for him. Now he had two people who were willing to do it so he wouldn’t have to, and one who loved him enough to allow him to jump in if that’s what he wanted, but who also promised to keep him company in that very same hell. He stood there desperately trying to process all this new information and his subsequent feelings about it until he realized that Aaron had actually left, and then his feet were moving to chase after the older man. “You-you can’t just say something like that and then leave,” he huffed, catching up to his lover, “You’ve gotta give a guy a chance to process things. I would do the same thing for you, y’know? I’m crazy in love with you, Aaron Hotchner.” He pulled Aaron into his arms and kissed him tenderly, pouring all his love into the action.

“As crazy as I am about you, Spencer Reid,” Aaron murmured when the kiss broke, caressing his lover’s cheekbones with shaking fingers. He was constantly amazed at the depth of his love for the genius, and hearing him talking about leaving him forever had shaken him more than he’d expected. Pulling Spencer in close, he just held him against his chest till the shaking stopped.

Spencer was torn. On the one hand he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else taking on what he thought was his responsibility to do, but on the other hand, he didn’t think he could bear it if Aaron was in hell because of him.

Without really talking or discussing it further, they got into the car and drove to Detroit where they knew they would find both Lucifer and the Winchesters. Unfortunately, they got there just in time to watch Sam take in the devil but then fail to jump into the gaping void of the cage.

The only thing they could do was try to comfort Dean while working through their own feelings of loss and failure. Spencer was convinced that if it had been him, it wouldn’t have been nearly as bad, but he kept that thought to himself as he didn’t think it would help anyone to hear it.

When they found out that Michael had found an alternative vessel in a distant relative of the boys and that the final battle was going to be in the Winchester’s hometown, they all packed up and followed Dean to the cemetery just outside Lawrence, Kansas in a last-ditch effort to stop it from happening.

Seeing Dean--and also to an extent, Spencer--shook Sam and gave him the strength to temporarily take back control of his body from Lucifer, open the cage and jump in after reminding his brothers of their promise to go on and live normal lives without him.

After Sam was gone, taking Michael and Lucifer with him, the hole in the earth closed up and Dean sank to the ground. He was bruised and bleeding from the beating Lucifer had given him before Sam had taken control, but it was obvious that his pain went far deeper than a mere physical ache, the loss of his brother cutting deeper than any blow. Spencer crawled over to him, just as beaten, and simply held his brother, offering what comfort he could.


	15. Chapter 15

Spencer and Aaron had stayed with Dean and Bobby until the older Winchester left to find Lisa, an old flame. He'd promised Sam he would live, and he was going to start there.

After Dean’s departure, the profilers went back to DC, bidding Boddy a farewell and promising to keep in touch. The events of the past few months had put certain things in perspective for the both of them, and they’d decided not to hide their relationship from anyone or tiptoe around the truth of what they were to each other. Spencer was welcomed back with open arms by Strauss and the AD, who had been upset by the loss of the genius who’d helped make them all look good. They were so happy at his return that they were even willing to make allowances for the genius’ relationship with Hotch, provided his evaluations were transferred to Gideon, along with any decisions regarding him in the field.

The rest of the team were very happy to have their genius back as well and easily accepted the explanations that Bobby had helped them devise. And although they were a little hesitant about his new relationship with their boss;  as time went on and they saw how happy the relationship made both men, they came around.

Spencer remained true to his promise, keeping in touch with both Dean and Bobby, occasionally calling and sometimes even referring the more supernatural looking cases he found to Bobby. He never talked about those things with Dean, though. His brother was too broken by Sam’s loss, and he was determined to help him heal and keep the promise he'd made to Sam to live a normal life.

The months went by, and the pain of losing his brother before really even getting to know him slowly started to fade. It would always be there, of course; but getting to know the big brother he had left, along with growing closer to Aaron, helped to ease the transition.

Hotch got his divorce from Haley quickly. They had no children, and the pre-nup Haley had signed made it an easy split of assets. The day it was finalized he asked Spencer to move in with him, and the genius readily agreed. The move went well with the whole team pitching in to help.

Life went on, and it was good, even if the ache and guilt of losing Sam never truly went away. Spencer would always carry that with him--the what ifs and the if onlys--but he would keep his promise to Sam as well.

He was going to live.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/153129892@N05/38068960996/in/dateposted-public/)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go...that's the end....for now. My beta wants a sequel...but we'll see what the muse says.


End file.
